Puddle of Pee

Growing up my sister and I shared a room and some nights she'd slide into my bed next to me if she got scared. My sister and I are 2 1/2 years apart so we spent a lot of time together and were best buddies early on. Maybe a little too much, because some of those "scared" nights spooked the pee out of her. Have you ever woken up in a puddle of pee?

Even if you have woken up in pee, be it your own or your scared little bed-buddy, it's not the nicest way to wake up. There's nothing soothing about slowly coming into consciousness and your brain detailing the situation at hand.

"It's time to...hm, what's that, that cold, coldness against my back?" Your brain asks. "It's cold and wrapping up in this warm, snuggly blanket is not helping, that's odd. I'm cold in one spot, but why?"

You drift back 2 steps into la-la land, not a coma-like sleep but you're not awake and your brain has dozed off a bit. Then as the sun forces its way past your eyelids your brain is nudged back into reality.

"Man, now my back itches. Cold and itchy? What would WebMD say about those symptoms?" Your brain is baffled until you turn over, still asleep, and put your hand on the mattress.

"IT'S PEE!!! Get up get up get up, (fill in child's name) PEED on me!!" I yell as I jump out of bed peeling the cold, damp gown from my cold, itchy back.

Now I have at least a load of laundry to do, hopefully not including the comforter...but likely the pee has left, not only me, but the sheets, comforter and all wet. Of course (fill in child's name) is soaked and needs his/her clothes washed and a bath of his/her own as well.

"What a day this is gonna be," I always think when I've been peed on and the t0-do list I didn't finish the day before has been immediately added to.

Why does pee make you itch? And does its initial warmth lull you into a deeper sleep only to be startled awake when its temperature plummets? And what about when the startling doesn't take place at a decent hour, but it's more like 3 a.m. when all your brain asks you is, "wet, itchy, why?"

I detest waking up in pee, but it's when that 3 a.m. pee-alarm wakes me that I think, even with my mushy, sleeping brain...maybe diapers aren't SO bad?