My Comfort Zone

My family and I went to church yesterday. We go most Sundays in a month, but sometimes I get really lax about it and I'm the one who has to keep everyone moving so we can get to service on time...so if I'm lax, we watch Joel Osteen on TV and read a Bible story to Jay.

It always amazes me (I'm slow) that when God gets my full attention, like He did during service yesterday, He gives me all kinds of things to think about (and write about). He answers my prayers and He gives me insight on things I've been pondering.

On Saturday night, before I closed my eyes to enjoy a night full of precious sleep, I prayed that God would show me how to be a better mom, wife, a better Natalie. I'm not sure if what I have is depression, if not more a disconnect from God. And I asked Him to help me with whatever issues I have to sort through because He can do it. I've tried, I've asked my doctor to try, I've even searched high and low on Google for the answer...but all along I knew it was He who knows me inside and out and could fix me, if I let Him.

So I got my answer. It's no quick-fix (thanks God), but it's something that I can do on a daily basis to push myself out of these funks and into a life, not just an existence. On Sunday the speaker said, "...everything you really want in life is just outside of your comfort zone. If you ever hope to experience all that God has for you, you will have to 'move'."

"Whoa!" I thought. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

It occurred to me, at that very moment, that I had been stuck. Stuck mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically. That's a lot of 'stuck'. I knew then that I had my answer, I had to move. Whether I liked it or not, whether it felt good or safe was irrelevant. I had to move, and so I move. My decision there in the back of the sanctuary, next to Babe and behind that annoying pole blocking my view of the altar, was to move. Like the speaker said, I'll come up with all kinds of excuses (I have before!): I'm too tired, it's too cold out, it's "family" time, or I just don't want to go.

And before, those excuses worked. Things like the class about Christianity was out of my comfort zone, helping with the kids (at church) is out of my comfort zone, and it was easier to relax at home come 7 p.m. on a Monday night than it was to go to the women's book study, which I loved the first time I did it. I guess it's time to move out of my comfort zone.

I don't know how God plans on using me or moving me, for that matter, but as time passes (it's Monday) I see pieces of what He wants me to do. And if He'll just lead me, I'll follow. If He's willing to hold my hand when I'm nervous and carry me when I'm spiritually exhausted I know I'll be okay when I'm outside of my comfort zone.