How Young is too Young?

How young is too young? How old is too old?

It's funny because in recent years more women are waiting to have children. Waiting until they complete their education, establish themselves as professionals, find "Mr. Right", or backpack through Europe, many women wait until their 30s before trying to conceive and many of those same women continue to have children into their early 40s. It's this very trend that makes it easier for me to have older friends, some as much as 10 years older than I am.

When I got pregnant with Jay, I was 21 years old and on her birth date I was 22. I hadn't planned this little, er, not so little bundle of joy but I always wanted kids and I didn't want to be pregnant once I was 30...so began my reproductive years. My closest friends couldn't really relate to me so much, they were still college girls shaking it up on the dance floor every Wednesday night at the "Suite" and sipping a margarita or two in honor of their legal drinking age. I was, in a way, alone in this pregnancy thing because Babe still had his friends and none of them even had serious girlfriends let alone babies on the way.

Then, a lady from church was pregnant after trying for some time and we were due about 6 weeks apart. We grew closer over our pregnancies with our daughters and even had our sons about a week apart. My new mommy friend was about 10 years older, but everything about motherhood brought us to the same level. Since then I tend to hang with women who have younger kids and they tend to be between about 38 and 40 years old.

So how young is too young? Sure, 21 wasn't the prime age for me to have a child, but at the same time I never wanted to be older than 30 with a pregnant bump. It wasn't for me. My parents were younger when they had me and my sister and I see how much fun they are having in their 50s with adult children and grandchildren running around their house. That's what I hope to have in my life...and that was what I wanted for myself even before I was 10 years old.

And how old is too old? I know women who are nearly 40 having their first child, I know women who are still having children and are also pushing 40. I'm not one to knock anyone because we all have our own way of doing things and a way that works for us. These women have the advantage of money (for the most part), life experiences and education in the years I am spending raising kids.

But I also have advantages because I had children earlier. Why look down on a mother because of her age. We all suffer from sleep (and sex)-deprivation, life takeover by little people, and how to get that baby out of our beds. I don't care if you are 20 or 45 when you have a baby, all of us have the same mommy-worries and want the absolute best for our child.

We have enough issues with each other as women, who cares how young or old you may be as a mother...if you see a younger mommy who could use a friend, be that friend. If you see an older mommy who wants to hang out with other mommies, regardless of age, invite her to the park. What does judging each other accomplish? Afterall, motherhood is isolating enough, let's do this thing together.