Way Overdue

I have been a little more on edge than usual and aside from my hormonal fluctuations I know why I'm so out of sorts. It's been quite some time since I had a nice, lengthy break from my family. Of course Babe and I have had a weekend here and there or an evening or two sans children, but sometimes what a girl needs is a chance to renew her mind, enjoy the scenery, lunch with a friend and maybe even a massage. Yes, all of that.

It seems to take a lot for me to feel renewed, okay, I take that back. I enjoyed a caramel Frappucino light and window shopping with a friend last weekend and that helped me feel renewed. But there's something about your children kicking each other while laying on the couch to snap a girl out of her renewed mind. So I whittle it all down to this: Me time. I obviously need more of it. I crave it, enjoy it, but I don't demand it. Most moms don't, I suppose, but for me it's vital. It's like air, water, caramel Frappucinos...it's my life-blood. Why won't I take the time every human being needs and deserves to just "do me" then come back to the fam the way I should have been all along?

"But I'll miss the kids."
Or, "It's our family time."
Or, "I haven't been so nice this week, we should do something fun as a family!"
Or, "It'll cost xyz."

I can come up with a thousand reasons not to go to Barnes and Noble just to flip through magazines and enjoy some time away. It amazes my that, often times, I am resigned to torturing myself (and my family) by telling myself I'm supposed to be with these people ALL of the time. How delusional! If I don't break out and do something, anything, for myself I am going to totally lose my mind and what good does that do any of us??

I can work at keeping the house clean so my family can see our home as a refuge from the crazy, loud world, or remain diligent about teaching my kids right from wrong. But if I don't get what I need out of this life I'll raise children who will grow up and have their own lives and I'll be left behind, just a shell of a woman. That simply is not an option. I have needs too, gosh darnit and they are going to be fulfilled. Even if I have to snatch Me time from the grips of my adoring son, or shake myself into submission, I'm gonna get mine. Natalie has left the building.