It's strange for a loner like me to recognize what it feels like for me to be lonely. So over the past few days I've wondered why I am an even bigger nag than I usually am, why there isn't enough intimacy to cure what ails me, how it is that my kids are here on Winter Break laughing and playing and I still feel...alone.
The one person I want to be with, really be with, is so distracted by all-things electronic that I feel like a child holding my hand out to his parent and his parent is too busy to pay it any attention.
My rational side said Babe has to work, which is understandable, but even God took a day off.
My irrational side screams how unappreciated I am, how Babe is neglecting me, how no matter what I say nothing seems to affect him enough to see that I'm reaching out to him.
With all that comes with the holiday season, family, friends, joy, I am baffled by the reality that somehow I find myself incredibly, insanely, annoyingly....lonely.
1 comment:
I can so relate to the feeling of desperate loneliness, even in the midst of the ones I love. I am a recovering person, and I do not feel the profound loneliness too much anymore. I have learned to take good care of myself, to live within functional boundaries, to accept those things I can't change, and all that stuff. I have a group of like minded people that I see regularly. I am better at living in the moment and appreciating the small joys that are present in my every day. I wish you the same in 2008!
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