Couch Parenting

Today I finally figured out what it is that my hubby does when I'm busy taking a little time for myself to, say, use the bathroom without an audience. He parents from the couch. It's the most annoying thing he could possibly do when I'm doing anything that allows me to be kid-free for even a moment and the very next time he does it, I'm gonna call him on it.

Our home computer has been on the fritz for awhile now and because he typically can leave his laptop for me to use when he's working, I have no problem with the big PC sitting idle for much of 2006. Well, today he had to take the laptop with him and when he got home I was ready to catch up on the business of my world...friends and family and their emails! All I needed was about 15 minutes to sit and laugh at some of the silly emails my sister forwarded to me and of course sort through the emails from the kindergarten parents of my daughter's classmates (that's another story). So did I get those 15 miniscule minutes? Ha! Not without his couch parenting kicking into high gear.

I hear N screaming and J yelling because he apparently took something from her that she had first and now he's screaming because J took it back.

"Stop it you two," says daddy from the couch with his gaze fixed upon the Broncos playing God knows who.
I pretend not to hear it and go on enjoying my email time. This time, though, it's a loud thud then J crying.

"What is going ON?" he asks with a bit more concern, from the couch. "If you two don't stop it you're going to go to bed."
They knock it off until...CRASH. N wails.

"Everybody get upstairs and get ready for bed!!!" I yell from the office as I close out my Yahoo experience. By this time I'm so sick of the hubby's couch parenting that I'm mad at him AND the kids. I hear J whisper, "what did she say?" and daddy whisper back, "you'd better be quiet so you don't have to go to bed." That statement is read: knock it off so I don't have to get off this couch and bathe you.

I huff my way into the family room and demand everyone go upstairs to get ready for bed and daddy's helping. Maybe I'd better be a bit less comfortable when I leave the house for Mommy Time and realize that daddy will be at home doing what daddy seems to do best unless there's an emergency...Couch Parenting.