Coffee the Culprit?

This morning I woke to a dreary, fog-ridden morning and I was determined it wouldn't get me down. I'm so used to the sunny days that the gloomy ones send my mood plummeting. When you have more than 300 days of sun, I guess you can get pretty spoiled. But I opened the blinds, made pancakes (Nas' favorite) and decided there was no way I could wake up without a cup of joe. Typically I don't drink coffee, only on days like this one do I indulge, so I was in for more than a boost of caffeine.

I drank one cup of coffee with creamer and a little sugar and voila, I started to feel awake. As soon as that thought crossed my mind I started to feel a little jittery. When I say jittery I don't just mean physically, I can handle a little shakiness in the hands. It's the mind racing and sudden irritability that turn me off. I had 10 different thoughts soar in and out of my mind, two of which were there long enough to get done. It's as though, with each passing thought, I lost the previous to-do. A little morning pick-me-up is not worth the hours of my brain competing in the Indy 500. This is your brain, this is your brain on coffee.

So I figured I'd just have to focus a little harder to get things accomplished in a timely manner, especially if I wanted to get Jay to school on time. Then another affect set in. The crazy, yelling, I have NO patience Natalie stepped in. I hate that Natalie, she's short-tempered, and any little thing will set her off. When you're a mother of 2 children ages five and two, you have no right to be impatient. It's unfair to them because they have no clue why you have suddenly snapped. So I push through the morning trying not to put my kids on the front step because they left toys out or because Nas is exhausted for his morning nap. I succeed, but barely.

Not long after we're all dressed and ready to go, it occurs to me that the doors won't unlock with the turn of the car key. Uh-oh, I think. Uh-oh was right. Apparently the car battery is dead and it's not going to budge, not even for a mother trying to get her child to school and drop off birthday invites to said child's friends! This is too much. It sends me over the edge, I command my little creations to get in the house...RIGHT NOW!! I'm so upset I could spit fire, so I call Babe who's working in Los Angeles. No answer...dammit. I try again...voice mail. Common sense steps in (phew!) and I realize we can still get Jay to the school bus. She gets her things and heads out, the bus is sitting there as we walk outside. I apologize to Jay and she goes running toward the bus. Smart girl, go to school or stay home with the crazy woman?

So it's me and Nas. I calm down and send him up to bed, we both need some quiet time. As I plop down on the couch to enjoy a banana I take a deep breath and realize the coffee buzz has subsided. I thank God then promise myself to remember this day and to never, ever put my brain on coffee again.