I was born on September 21, 1978, and at no point in my life do I recall age being more than just a number. As I approach 30, faster and faster every day, I don't feel any different about the big 3-0. A friend of mine struggled with her 30th last year, thought her life would be much different by this milestone. But for me 30 just means it's my turn to live life a bit more for myself than I was able to in my 20s.
From the time I was 18 to about 21 I really lived it up. I danced the night away on 18 and older nights at the club, my girlfriend and I hit every party geared toward our liking. Life was free and easy then. Then I found myself 9 weeks pregnant with Jay and all that fun stuff came to a halt. I thought it was time to get serious, at it was. I thought it was time to be a full-time grown-up, and I was right. So from the time I was 21 and 9 months I shifted from fun-times Natalie to mommy. Everything has it's time and my 20s, from 22 to now really, I've been fully focused on my kids. And as I look "back", I'm glad to have had the opportunity to be just mommy.
But if the 20s were Jay and Nas' time, the 30s are...finally...my time. My time means I get to put Nas in preschool (he's been there for a month now) and I get to take uninterrupted time to focus solely on Natalie. So far I've spent that time working on my blog and reading works that have inspired me and improved my own writing. Online blogs like "Average Bro" help expand my vocabulary, and books by Kimberla Lawson Roby have encouraged me to allow the woman/mother/wife writer in me to freely explore issues affecting each "hat" I wear. Hats so many women can relate to. Lastly, Sara Maitland's "Writer's Way" guides me along a path toward becoming the writer I want to be.
Not only does 30 symbolize the opportunity to return to my writing, but it seems to also mean I'm more comfortable with ME than I was in my 20s.
"So what do you do?" Was a question, in my mid-20s that would turn me into a shrinking violet. Not anymore, if you can't appreciate my work as a mother how could I expect you to respect my work in any corporate field?
I chopped off 8 or 9 inches of my hair at 29. If you're a black woman you know full-well we just don't do such things. Each millimeter is precious, cherished. But I wanted to go au natural and I did it and I love it! I've never felt sexier and I can't see what would ever send me back to relaxer-ville. My confidence seems to grow with each day closer to 30. I'm just happy being ME and I couldn't have said that 10, even 5 years ago.
If 30 (or 35, or 40, or 50) intimidates you or makes you feel like you don't have anything to offer that someone younger than you might, get real. Think about who you were, or thought you were, at whatever your "prized" age might be. I find myself getting better with each milestone and I make sure that is the case. At 28, I started making changes that would improve Natalie so the next decade wouldn't be spent focusing on that foolishness. Make sure you're growing and I just can't see how last year would be better than this one. I am thrilled to be 30 soon, I'm ready to sit back and enjoy the ride!
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