Dancing in the Rain

It has been a very bumpy start to 2008 and I have adopted the motto "Dancing in the Rain" because it's the only thing that keeps me from becoming a bitter, depressed, angry woman.

Babe is basically self-employed and earns commission-based pay. If you know anything but CB pay, you know that the good times are really good but the bad times are really bad. He doesn't receive a check every other Friday or even the 15th of the month, he's paid once all of the paperwork, blood work and payments from his clients are completed. That can take a long time when dealing with the fabulous world of professional athletes. Hey, I said I'm not bitter, depressed or angry, but I am VERY sarcastic!

In early January Babe was expecting a substantial pay out from a case he'd completed but a few things went awry, including a misprint on an EKG, and as we sit here on January 29 there has been no pay out. That check would have carried us well into February, but without it we're just scraping by. We've got food, not necessarily bad food, but I like to have some fruit and veggies on a daily basis...we can't afford that right now. We haven't filled up the gas tank in my sister-in-law's Kia all month because we have to tread lightly with the pennies and it burns gas like it has a hole in the tank. We have her car for other reasons unrelated to our brokeness, but it's our only car right now because ours needs repairs and we can't afford to have them done just yet. Have you ever squeezed a family of four into a Kia Rio-sized vehicle? Wow. But imagine if we didn't have her car?

It seems God keeps providing for us even though we know we don't deserve it. We have food, we had chili for dinner last night, eggs bacon and toast for breakfast this morning. We have a car to get my baby to school every day and enough money to put gas in it. We even have bottled water to drink, which I prefer because our tap water leaves something to be desired.

But at night, I sleep well knowing that we are all safe, healthy and loved because God is so good. In too many family's eyes we are not struggling at all, but for us it's a tough glitch in the matrix that would leave us high and dry if we spend another month this way. But we know that it's only temporary and if all we're lacking (aside from a few bills going a bit behind) is a family-sized car, digital cable, and some fruit and veggies to eat on a daily basis we're a long way from going without. It's a reminder of who is running the show and a chance for us to be truly grateful for what we do have, so I dance until the sun shines through again and pray He'll keep me through the storm that is sure to follow.

We all go through 'stuff' but keeping it all in perspective can help us all continue to dance in the rain.