One afternoon I went out on a limb and asked Jay, "How do babies get in the mommy's tummy?" I knew she had some idea as to how babies came out, she was force-fed TLC's "A Baby Story" the entire 9 months of my pregnancy with her brother. But I wondered what her thoughts were on the matter before the obviously painful exit.
"Jesus puts them there," she replied. That has been her reply up to age 7.
Babe thought this was a fine answer, why tell her anything different?! But I knew better: if we don't teach her about sex, somebody else just might. So I started to devise a plan.
Books. Once your child can read, getting a book from the library is a fantastic way to start the sex talk. This way, she could start reading about the female reproductive system. Jay learned about breasts, periods and tampons. She was quite amazed at what the body could do on a monthly basis - I'm sure that amazement will quickly dissipate once she starts menstruating.
I looked through the book and put a marker at the chapter discussing sex, "You come to me when you get to this chapter so we can read it together," I told her. She whipped through those chapters, absorbing the new information each page presented. Every day Babe would see her reading and say, "She's getting close to the marker." My own anxiety increased with each turning page.
Finally, it was time to talk about sex. She read the first explanation of how a baby is made - penises were mentioned, as were vaginas. I made sure she knew what all the words meant so, hopefully, she could piece this whole thing together on her own. This particular book just confused her. So I pulled out another book we'd checked out (this book was WAY too graphic so we didn't use it much) and had her read their description. She read it and re-read it and the light bulb went off.
"Oh," she said with a bit of disgust. So I asked her to tell ME how babies get in mommies' tummies. And she did. She still seems a bit dumbfounded that such a meeting is required to make a person - but after confirming she knows what sex is I was sure to ask her who is permitted to have sex. At this point it is clear to her that sex is for married couples only. I think I can cross this lesson off my to-do list for now - I gladly did so with a huge sigh of relief.
1 comment:
Wow, you handled that quite nicely. Want to come talk to Caitlin? ;) I like the book idea. That one has been looming over me for quite some time now. It keeps getting heavier as she gets closer to nine. Most of the women in my family have started their period at 9. I just can't even imagine dealing with that yet. Oh the many joys!
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