Lesson Learned

Have you ever been so blind-sided by a friend's comments or behavior toward you that you find it hard to just "let it go"? I have, a few times actually. And being the Virgo that I am I mull things over and over and then, just for good measure, I mull it once again. I think that drives Babe crazy because he's only like that about business and money stuff, whereas 'people' seem easy for him to deal with.

Recently someone I considered a friend basically wrote me off and wanted nothing more to do with me. I was unsure then about what I had said or done and to be honest, I'm still at a loss. For about a month I would revisit this issue and replay our last interaction and wonder where I had gone wrong, what it was I had done to cause such a strong reaction. Literally, I would go back and try to figure it out. There comes a point in every situation where I decide that I cannot concern myself any longer. I reached that point yesterday.

But because God seems to love teaching me to be the "better" person, or in reality to do what it is He would have me to do I had to apologize for whatever I had done to said person. I don't like confrontation, who does? But I also don't like leaving loose ends and this was a loose end. Today is October 23 and this situation occurred about a month ago to the day. I let this occupy space in my mind and in my spirit for a month? But I think God moved me through steps to get to where I could 'man up' and address the situation. Because, please believe, I had no interest in dealing with this head on...not even yesterday!

When I get alone, or away from the demands of my life, I find God speaks to me loud and clear. Today was the day to attack this head on if what I'd been begging Him for, peace, was truly what I wanted. And I have been pleading with God on this one. So on my way home He gave me the words. They were good words but even when I got home I didn't want to speak those words. Even after a month's time, He gave me an out and I didn't want to walk through! Peace, God's peace, was sitting in the passenger's seat next to me and I wanted to get out of the car and leave it sitting there!

"Do it," I heard the Holy Spirit say.
"Not yet." I thought.
"Do it."
"But what if (said person) laughs at me, or throws it in my face or if it's not enough?!" I wondered. "Not now."
A few minutes later, accompanied with a nauseous feeling, I heard the Holy Spirit say again, "Do it now. When you give someone a gift you do the giving, it's up to them what they do with it."
"Okay, okay!"

So I did it..with hesitation. I'm a writer to the death so I wrote my apology and addressed the situation in a mature, godly manner and sent it to the person. Heck, I told my parents through email about my unexpected pregnancy with Jay many moons ago, why change up now?!

I did it. I said what I needed to say, got it off my chest off my back off my mind and out of my spirit. And all I can do is praise and thank God for it. It took a month, but I am thankful. I learned a lot of lessons in my 20s but so far it seems I am dealing more with spiritual lessons in my 30s. I'd love to say "Lesson Learned" but we'll see how I deal the next time around. Let's just hope I don't waste a month doing what took me all of five minutes the next time I'm blind-sided.