Lessons from a Mole

On August 25, I found a suspicious mole on my side. I remember the date only because it was my mother-in-law’s birthday and although I was in a hurry to get dressed to meet her something told me to look down at my side. Never one to ignore those little “voices” (okay, let’s just say I didn’t ignore it THIS time) I glanced down when something caught my eye. It was a mole, a fairly large brown mole with fuzzy edges and a slightly darker color in the middle. It was there alongside the little black one I’ve always remembered. This fuzzy-edged mole, this one was new to me.

My heart did one of those drops you get when someone you love dearly says they are ill, stricken with cancer or must have surgery to remove fibroids (I love you mom!). Then I started wondering if that very mole was why I’d read at least two in-depth magazine articles about skin cancer and how it’s the most common type of cancer. I also recalled that it was fatal in many cases because cancer, from that small mole, had spread in time and affected other vital organs inside the body. I panicked.

“I have 2 kids, Lord, I can’t deal with cancer right now…I’m not even 30 yet, I’ve got SO much living to do!! Please let this be nothing,” I pleaded.

Quickly I dried off, dressed and headed downstairs to show Babe…my ever-calm, cool, collected Babe.

“Do you see it?? It’s not good when you think about the ABCDs of skin cancer though!” I demanded.
“Babe, that’s been there forever…it’s nothing!” He said. His calm always helped me focus in other situations, but this time what if it wasn’t “nothing”? Somehow I’d convinced myself that it was fine and anyway, I couldn’t have it seen on that particular day. So I went about my business for over a month until my friend talked about having to see her dermatologist.

“I have a weird mole that maybe I should have looked at,” I said.
“Let me see it,” she said. I hesitated because said mole has made its home on my happy “too many burgers-fries-ice cream-pizza” tummy roll.
“Just don’t pay attention to my roll,” I said as I proceeded to lift my shirt ever-so slightly.
“Ooh, you should have that looked at. The ABCDs of skin cancer make that one something you should see your doctor about.”

Again, panic had set in. I figured out the best doctor to see (family or a specialist, family it was) and when I set my appointment I was nervous, very nervous.

“What if I have skin cancer? What if it’s worse than I may have thought? Would I get chemo if they suggested it? Would I see my babies grow up and have their own babies? What if, what if, what if?” I played the awful what-if game for about 3 days until I went in for my appointment. “I’m not even done living yet, heck, I haven’t really started yet!!” I thought.

At the doctor’s office the mole was viewed, both of them actually…

“Benign, they are both benign,” she said.
Suddenly it felt like all of the world was lifted off my back, shoulders and my lap. I felt at least 20 pounds lighter. I was so thankful I was giddy. After asking about the best way to prevent skin cancer Babe and I were off. He had to go with me after all, what if it was something awful!!??

That little mole could have changed my health permanently, instead it changed the way I see life. No longer do I want to dwell in a big ol’ house with two little ol’ kids and Babe…life is too short to live somewhere just because it’s a big, beautiful building. It is, just, a building. I don’t want to spend my days cleaning a big ol’ “Hollywood” house (as my uncle refers to it) and I don’t want Babe slaving to pay to live here…I want to downsize our lives. Enjoy the little things with our kids before they decide they can’t be bothered with old folks. Travel, take the kids to Disneyland and stay at one of the resort hotels while we’re there! We could afford it if we moved to a smaller place. Why not??

Our kids are small and don’t require much space, let’s enjoy something cozy before they’re smelly, moody teenagers! I want to live, not just exist, but LIVE my life. I only get one shot at it! I want to hang out downtown just for the heck of it…eat out, enjoy good live music. I want to visit the mountains more often, take the kids too, for weekend getaways just to look back on the city and be thankful we’re alive to experience time away from the hustle and bustle. Isn’t that what life is about? It’s what my life is about…from now on.

**To my friends and family who happen to be "of color" please know that skin cancer is not just a "white" cancer, we all have skin don't we?? Be sure to use sunblock whenever you'll be outside for extended periods of time and use a face moisturizer that has sun protection as well. Skin cancer is NO joke so protect yourself and your loved ones!