Way back in February 2001 I gave birth to a big ol' 8 pound 6 ounce baby girl who was, without a doubt, the prettiest baby I have ever seen. She had these rosy pink, plump little lips, eyes that slanted just right, and this mellow personality that was obviously her father's. All of this wrapped up in one little hospital blanket stole my heart, making my decision (and Babe's easy approval) to stay home with her an easy one.
Fast forward October 2004 when I was finally relieved of the duty of carrying my adorable, though itty bitty, 6 pound 12 ounce baby boy. Although this little cutie tortured my body for all nine months, I was committed to raising him "full time" the way I did Jay. Babe and I decided that two years would be plenty of time for me to be home.
Then came October 2006 (Nas' second birthday), October 2007, 2008, 2009 - and I'm still home. My little boy is in preschool for a few hours a day Monday through Thursday in preparation for all-things kindergarten and outside of that he plays, has playdates, or he hangs out with his Mommy. I'm truly blessed to be able to be home with my babies because it really is important to me to get my kids off to a good start - and this is one way I know how to do that.
So it's just this one thing that has my mind a bit disturbed. Mind you I'm a Virgo and I worry too much about ev-er-ee-thing. Although I have four months before my youngest even starts kindergarten, I'm thinking about, wondering about, concerned about, WORRIED about what I am going to do when August 2011 comes along and my li'l baby is gone to school all day along with my baby girl.
I have zero interest in administrative work, though that's what I have experience in. Working in retail might be okay and the hours might work out, but weekends? Um, no thanks. I don't have a zillion skills, I guess most people don't, but what in the world will I DO? Oh my. Writing, that's what I know how to do. I also edit, but without a handy-dandy degree those jobs are tough to come by. This ONE thing...one little thing and it has me baffled.
Whatever it is God has in store for me after I've devoted my entire being to my babies, my husband, our home, I know it is going to be good because, as other at-home moms know, the first five years are truly a labor of love and quite the adventure. I'm looking forward to whatever it is as I move into another chapter of my life, although I sure would love to know what's in store.
1 comment:
You're a very dedicated mom, and I applaud you for that. Parenting isn't at all easy as it takes most of your time, but you did it perfectly. Don't worry, when that new chapter of your life comes, I'm sure you will be able find a work that best suits you, or do something worthwhile for you as a person. Just don't forget to live a well-balanced life as a mom, wife, your work, and having time to relax and enjoy being you. Good luck to you.
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